“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” (William Arthur Ward)
Meeting up with someone new and you discover they are a teacher is like the Holy Grail (slight exaggeration!) But for a teacher to meet another teacher from different school is like magic. A bond is forged and almost immediately they will both, without fail, turn their talk to education, their school workload and teaching kids. It excites us. We compare. We boast. We leave depressed about our situation. Is it time to leave the profession? Why are my children not progressing at this rate? How are you teaching phonics? Is Ofsted likely to come soon? We may be in sync with this similarity but beware teachers aren’t all they same.
One thing I have learnt from the teacher meeting gossip is that there are 12 types of teacher. Perhaps you can identify with this teacher or maybe you have been taught by one which definitely fits the bill.
- The fit PE teacher and when he wears a suit not only are the adolescent girls excited, so are the mums.
- The hippy like Art teacher that always wears paisley.
- The gay Drama teacher who everybody loves because he is just so over the top!
- The English teacher who tries to force you into reading, and claims all she does is read at home. In fact she definitely dislikes TV! This teacher doesn’t just want you to read any old book, she is obsessed with the classics!
- The one who is never there. For some reason there is always a teacher who hardly turns up and when he does still can’t be bothered to actually teacher. This is the ‘doss’ lesson.
- The new teacher who stands at the front of the class, all shiny haired and sticker crazy, with enough enthusiasm to join the cheerleading team. Yet no-one listens.
- The wimpy teacher who looks like she will cry at least once during the day. She shakes as the class refuse to ‘quite down’.
- The one you know certainly has a few glasses of wine every night just to get through the term… Countdown to summer has begun.
- The grumpy caretaker who sees this school as his home, whilst he wanders through the corridors with his chunk of keys clunking around the chain.
- The caring, old lady who wants you to ‘set a good example to the littleuns’ and to ‘make something of yourself.’ Their favourite pearl of wisdom is ‘school is the best time of your life, you mark my words.’
- The terrifying foreign teacher. Pupils dread this teacher, not only because they struggle to understand the accent, but actually the accent makes them much more scary.
- The one who thinks he is just like you. He is young and energetically talks about football, Maroon 5 and TOWIE in his best cockney geezer impression. He thinks he is cool, he is sure the kids think he is cool. In reality they laugh at him behind his back as he tries to do the Dougie!